It's good to talk

Family conversations about money are rarely straightforward. During the webinar, our experts discussed how to start a conversation with your family, plan your own family meeting and talk about important issues like inheritance. We also explored what happens if you can’t make your own decisions so that everyone is on the same page after you die.

The panel of financial advisers and trust experts gave valuable insights into running your family meeting. They covered why it’s worth taking time now to talk to your family about how you intend to use and pass on your money and investments. While starting these conversations can often be tricky, avoiding them can often be worse.  

Why is it important to talk to my family about wealth?

Bringing together your family to discuss your financial plans is a good thing so that you can share information about your wealth and what you want to happen in the future. Think about ‘why’ you want to have this conversation. Do you want to pass on wealth now, tell loved ones about your Will or introduce the professionals who help look after your wealth? Everyone will have different reasons for wanting to speak to their family. Our experience is your family will welcome you starting the conversation with them.

Who should be in the meeting?  

This is up to you, but it should probably include immediate family, perhaps blended family members and experts too like your financial adviser or solicitor. You may also want to think about who isn’t there and how you will handle any questions from them about their absence.

What can a family meeting bring to those attending?

Younger family members may be too busy to spend much time thinking about what they might do with an inheritance, so they could find the meeting useful. Family members will inevitably have varying opinions and values when it comes to money, which is why a meeting allows everyone to have their say.

How do you set up a family meeting?  

Think about the “why” before the “how”. Why is it important to you to set out your wealth plan and intentions? Think about your life story, career and home life, to make it easier to speak to your loved ones about what you want to do with your money. Share stories with one another. You could all make some discoveries about one another’s values and opinions around money.

How much should you share at the meeting?

It’s normal to have concerns about how much your family should know about your wealth. Share enough to make these conversations worthwhile. You could inform your family about who your executors are for example, but do not need to go into detail about how much money each grandchild will be receiving. If you have specific areas like trusts you’d like to cover, think about having a relevant expert present to answer any questions.

What should the meeting agenda look like?

Families come in all shapes and sizes, so a good place to start is by setting out some rules of engagement. How do you want your meeting to go? Will there be a neutral chairperson? Will your financial planner attend?

Leave time at the end for everyone to have their chance to speak. Listening is very important, as is how you will respond to any questions that could be tricky. Think ahead to these potential questions and how you might address them.

How will the meeting be recorded? It’s important to make a note of any agreed action points, and you may also want to have your own version of the agenda with specific notes and prompts just for you.

Your financial adviser could host your meeting in a neutral location if you prefer. The benefits of having a financial planner attending are that they can explain complex areas and the pros and cons of certain decisions, from an objective point of view.

What important documents should be discussed at the meeting?

It’s important to talk about your will and any powers of attorney arrangements. This keeps your family aware that you have these documents in place, that they’re up to date, and where to find them. It’s also a good idea to tell them where to find details about your online digital footprint.  

Do I need to share all my wishes at the meeting?

Not necessarily. This is your conversation and you can decide what you share. Give your family enough information to make the meeting meaningful. It’s not just about money, it’s also about informing them where your important documents are held, and who your executors will be. The meeting also gives your loved ones a chance to meet your financial planner if they’re attending and build a relationship with them going forward.

What shouldn’t be covered at the meeting?

You may want to avoid sharing too much at the meeting, or areas that could be sensitive or awkward for others. For example, people have different ideas of what being wealthy means to them. Keep the meeting business-like and stick to the facts.

How can you approach a conversation with your parents about their future?

It can be hard to broach the topic of money with your elders, so it’s important to be sensitive if they’re not entertaining a conversation about their later life years. However, it’s worth having a gentle conversation with them to make them aware of the responsibilities that you will be taking on when they’re older, and when they die. Explain that it’s better to do this now than later, as it could help them feel empowered to know they’re making the most of their money and assets now – whatever they decide to do with them.

How can a family meeting help the younger generation?

We have found that clients often don’t want to indulge their children too much in certain areas but may want to help in others, like getting on the property ladder. Philanthropy is another way to encourage your children to use the money you may leave to them. Exposing the younger generation to some financial awareness and responsibility could help develop their financial literacy.

What is considered a good outcome from a family meeting?

A successful family meeting means everyone has come away with clarity and peace of mind about what your wishes are, and what the action points will be.

What happens after the meeting?

Gather the action points and speak to your financial adviser to get the ball rolling on any steps you can take immediately – whether it’s updating your will or reviewing your assets. You may wish to arrange a follow-up meeting in a year if you and your family felt it was a useful exercise.

Conclusion

Starting a conversation about money has challenges but it could benefit you and your family. You might feel like there is never a right moment but if you are thinking about the issues we’ve mentioned here then we encourage you to start a conversation. Your family will appreciate that you’ve taken the time to speak to them and explain why you’re making decisions.  

Talking about money is emotive so expect passion. You know your family best. Try to anticipate their responses and challenges. Speak to your financial adviser, who can help you plan so that the meeting adds real value to your family.  

Ultimately, your family could benefit from having these conversations now so that uncertainty and distress can be avoided in the future.  

Next steps

Speak to your Rathbones adviser about setting up a family meeting or get in touch with us. You can also find out more by watching the below webinar.